An excerpt from Deviant. This is from Julien's POV. It's an intense scene, one that describes Julien's inner struggle perfectly.
“I hate you,” Mia said.
I wanted to say that it didn’t matter. That all that mattered was the fact that I was the one keeping her alive. But I didn’t because it did fucking matter.
I pushed her panties down and undid my jeans, one hand pressing between her shoulder blades even though she’d stopped struggling. I wasn’t even hard, hating what I was about to do, hating myself for it. But I had no fucking choice. She needed to see who I was. What I was. It would make things easier later.
I rubbed my cock against her pussy, and slowly pushed inside, forcing myself to look at her only to find her watching me in the mirror. Those eyes, those fucking eyes, even now, even given what I was doing to her, inside them wasn’t the hate that I expected. That I fucking deserved.
I pulled out and gripped a handful of hair, tugging her head backwards, hurting her. I forced myself to watch her as I fucked her, made myself look at the hurt in her eyes, wanting to make her hate me. Needing to make her hate me.
Just a few thrusts. It was all it took. She squeezed her eyes shut when I fisted that handful of hair as I neared my climax, closing my own eyes. Coming.
This was fucked up. I was fucked up.
I loosened my grip and opened my eyes, meeting my own reflection in the mirror.
If I’d had any hope of redemption before, it was gone now. Gone as Mia’s body went limp.
She could never forgive me this. I knew it.
And I hated myself for it.
I'm a hit man, an assassin. A deviant by all accounts. I never pretended to be the good guy.
She was the opposite.
But the minute she pulled the curtains back and saw my face, watched me screwing the blonde who happened to be my next mark, she sealed her own fate.
There could be no witnesses, ever.
I let it go on a few days though. Never closed the curtains, gave her one hell of a show. I liked it, liked seeing her get all hot and bothered. Her face so innocent, so…corruptible. And all that time she was watching, she had no idea I'd seen her, that I was watching her too.
But all good things must come to an end.
Imagine my surprise when I turned up to take care of her only to find two goons breaking down her door, weapons in hand.
Turned out she had a price on her head. Her stepbrother wanted her and he wanted her alive. I'd never been one to pass up an opportunity to collect the kind of money he was offering, especially if I could have some fun while I was at it.
It just never occurred to me she’d be anything more than my next mark.
Curiosity killed the kitten.
I'll never forget the look in his eyes when he said those words.
When I watched them from the window, I didn't suspect for a moment that he'd seen me, that he was watching me back. Not while he was doing what he was doing to the woman on her knees before him.
But then she turned up dead, and he turned up in my hotel room, waiting for me in the dark.
I didn't think for one second him being there that night would save my life. I'd been on the run for two years, but my stepbrother had finally caught up with me. Or his two thugs had.
Finding out I had a quarter-of-a-million dollar bounty on my head convinced Julien I was more valuable alive than dead. But to collect it would mean returning me to my stepbrother, who had sworn to make me pay for what I'd done.
Julien was cruel. He was merciless. He scared the crap out of me. But there was something else, something he never wanted me to see. Inside, he was broken, like me.
My stepbrother was wrong if he thought I'd let him get his hands on me ever again. I had no intention of allowing that to happen, even if it meant I'd have to sleep with the devil to survive.
And I had no doubt Julien was the devil.
* Please note: This standalone dark romantic suspense is complete at 68K words. No cliffhanger, only a badass Alpha male who doesn't seem like much of a hero at the start, who uses strong language, and likes dirty, kinky sex. Some readers may find him offensive.
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