Thursday, November 20, 2014

Chasing Delia by Aubrey Cara

I met Aubrey Cara some time back I think on FB or maybe stalking her blog, I can't remember, but we've become friends since and I'm thrilled to share an excerpt from her very first book, Chasing Delia. Aubrey had a really unique sense of humor and I think that's one of the things that immediately drew me to her. This book is just a sample of that personality. She once did a review of a review of one of my books that had me rolling on the floor laughing and if you've not visited her blog, definitely do so! I'll link you after the excerpt, but first, Chasing Delia. I chose this scene (thanks to Aubrey for indulging me) as it just was so unique and funny. This is the start of Jake and Delia's romance. Warning: there are granny undies! 

* * * *

Jake stood waiting in the front lobby getting attention from every female receptionist, nurse, and attendee that passed by. Now he was coming to feel like a particularly juicy piece of meat these lionesses were circling, with sweet smiles and calculating eyes. 
Even though he thought Delia Myers was probably in no better state of mind than last night, he headed towards the double doors of the elevator to meet her at her room. He realized on the way up she could have already heard he was here, and from her not so pleasant reception last night he instinctively knew he would have to expect the unexpected with this one. 
Thus it was with a sense of urgency he stepped from the elevator, wanting to head her off, if she had not already snuck off under his radar. Moving at a quick clip he bypassed the nurse’s station, and any attention he may garner from the nurses there. Rounding the corner he came to a halt in the doorway of her room.
Ms. Myers's lay face down on her hospital bed. Her legs hung over the side, her bottom in the air, her hospital gown gaping in the back. She would have presented one of the sexiest sights he had ever seen, had she not been wearing overly large Hanes Her Way faded floral print underwear. On top of that she seemed to be muttering nonsensical utterances into the mattress. 
He had to quickly reined himself in when an image of her not wearing anything while in the same position, her hands fisted in the sheets for a completely different reason,  rose to the forefront of his mind. Trying to dispel the image of her sweet shapely figure underneath him, his hand smacking down on that floral covered bottom, he thought the one word that never failed to help cool his ardor since he was a horny teen. Grandma.
Yet, it regrettably did not come out so much as a thought he was going for, but more like a very loud canon blast into the room. Ms. Myers' head whipped up and around, her swollen eyes landed squarely on him before flaring in frustration and giving an angry mournful cry of “WHY?!” towards the ceiling. This surprise him more than hearing himself yell “Grandma.” Stepping into the room, he quickly and quietly shut the door behind him. 
“Ms. Myers?” he asked. She was now flipped onto her back, paying no attention to him as he moved into the room. She stared up at the ceiling, but this time instead of the muttering he could not understand, she spoke loud and clear. Angry tears of frustration tracked down the sides of her face. 
“Why? What did I do?” she said. “I don’t deserve this. I don’t fu-- fu-- deserve this shhhhhit.”  Stuttering out the swear words seemed to sap all her strength. Completely deflated she curled on to her side, drew her knees up to her chest, and started sobbing in earnest. 
Now Jake had never been what one would call “good” with women, that is, outside of a bar or bedroom. The longest relationship he ever had ended with the woman having another man's baby, and then leaving him and the baby as soon as her cheating self got a chance. 
He had been young when it happened. Still the fact remained he had questioned his choice in women so much over the years he eventually gave up on dating all together. That would be why the sight of a sobbing woman triggered panic to seize his chest. He was frantically looking around the room for help he already knew wasn’t there when Ms. Myers snapped to. Sitting up strait and pointed an accusing finger in his direction, “YOU!”
Even though he knew there was no one else in the room he couldn’t stop himself from peeking behind himself before giving a lame, “Me?”
“Yes, you! You’re everything that’s wrong with the world. Bastard men like you. You think you're so good looking.” 
He shrugged. He wasn't peacock but he knew he wasn't bad looking either. 
Sneering in disgust she continued, “Struttin' and swaggering around. Flashing your perfect smile, oozing charm with your chiseled perfect face, and those deep blue eyes.” 
He never thought to have a woman complain about his good looks but she looked like she wanted to throw up when she said it. “I’ll try not to take that personally,” he said. “Since I don’t think it’s me you’re really upset with.”
“Ugh! Just shut up! I’ve spent less than five minutes with you and I already know your game. You’re all the same, and I hate you all. I hate friends that aren’t really your friends, I hate family that’s not really your family, but most of all, I hate husbands that aren’t really your husbands. Men that act all American Hero on the outside and are actually shallow, lying assholes on the inside!” This outburst was punctuated by her picking up the closest thing at hand, a Kleenex box, and throwing at his head. Ducking just in time to dodge the box, he straightened with his hands in the air, a clear sign of surrender. 

Shocked by how quickly this scene was deteriorating, he opened his mouth to talk only to be cut off by a shamefaced Delia Myers. Her hand covered her mouth as if not to allow anything else slip through, a fact he could only be grateful for. Being told you were a lying bastard and hated by a beautiful, sobbing woman first thing in the morning was the epitome of everything he had been avoiding by not dating. 


With the delivery of one Dear John letter and a set of divorce papers, Delia Myers is on a her way to self discovery. First stop: Embracing she's a terrible judge of character. Especially when it comes to men. 

Jake Forrester is a small town cop, who is beyond charming, and hunky enough to have every female in a hundred mile radius panting after him. Basically everything she is trying to avoid. Too bad he's been determined to chase after her from the second he's laid eyes on her oversized floral granny panties. 

She may run, but can she hide from love? 

Warning; Contains one no-good, cheating ex-husband, a heroine with a propensity to make a run for it, and a hero that has a new found love for spanking a certain sassy woman who runs from him. 


Aubrey Cara said...

I now associate the granny panty scene with you! LOL :) Thank you for hosting me!

Helen Karol said...

The last sentence had me laughing out loud! I so feel for him. She's lucky he doesn't spank her there and then.

Roz said...

Oh this was a great fun excerpt. The last sentence made me laugh too and loved the granny panties :) Congratulations Aubrey! Thank you both for sharing.