Author Patricia Green and is hosting today's Round Table Discussion and her topic is Being of an Age and Spanking: a discussion about how one changes as a spanking partner over the years of a relationship.
I'm not really sure how to answer this one because we're so new to it, but it got me thinking. First off, my husband and I do not practice DD. It's just not a part of the dynamic between us. I pretty much just like to be spanked when I want to be spanked how I want to be spanked. Or so he says at least...and as of late, I must say, he's right.
I like to say that I'm submissive - and I want to be and am in many ways, but I also know exactly what I want and realized recently I'm not as flexible as I like to think on that. I read an article my friend Tracey shared with me written by Cherise Sinclar. I actually read it to pass along to my husband as it was about beginning domination (linked if you'd like to have a look at it). My take away from that was that he, as the dominant, gets to decide (she says it much better than I so go have a look at the article). Of course, I know that and yes, that's what I want. I want him to take over and dominate me. Yep - very easy. So he read it and we talked about it and I thought and thought about it. He made some comment about me wanting to be dominated my way and not really giving him room to come up with his own plan. He might also have called me bossy (or something else) in that conversation but I can't remember for sure...
In the last year and few months, we've had ups and downs but overall, we are closer and just more intimate together. I think we value each other more. We had a pretty good relationship to start with and telling him about my spanking desires brought us to an even better place. We still hit lows by the way and are not perfect, but where I see this taking us in the coming years is just closer together. I'm hoping as we talk and as we practice, we learn more about ourselves, about each other and take away layer after layer to get to the good stuff, the heart of this.
Maybe we push some boundaries too. I hope so. This whole 'you're only submissive when you want to be submissive' thing kind of threw me. It made me wonder if it was a lack of trust and in a way, it is or is partly at least. I'm hoping in the coming years I learn to trust him to give me what I want and need and I know he can only do that if I trust him to do it in the first place. Does that make any sense? I've said this before - everything has its opposite and both are true at once. This is one of those things.
Tracey and I have also spoken about submission and how in a way, you have to give your submission for him to be able to dominate. It's like someone has to go first and in D/s, it's the submissive (in my mind) and the submission that has to first be given otherwise it turns into something else, something potentially not good.
So, I rambled. I'm not even sure I answered the question on hand but it's where my mind is at the moment. If I can sum this up in one line: I hope in the coming years we are closer together because of this and yes, most definitely I hope to still have a nicely spanked bottom and just figure out together where we are going.
Please visit the other participants on today's discussion so make sure you have a look and visit them. The links are below. Thanks for reading and have a lovely weekend.