Monday, July 29, 2013

The Elegance of Submission

I think I'm not alone in thinking The Story of O is a sort of bible to this genre of writing. Even outside of this genre, it's one of the most elegant books I've ever read. The words are pure sensuality and their meaning so much more than what you gather at first glance. The book sits on my bedside table, its simple white cover with the title in black block letters, and every now and again I pick it up to re-read. Every time, I feel like it's my first time.

One of the most erotic scenes from The Story of O is toward the beginning when O's lover brings her to Sir Stephen's apartments. He has her undress then displays her over the ottoman to present her to Sir Stephen. I still remember O's thoughts as she submits, her feelings as the men discuss her as if she weren't there. Then when she is told to stay as she is while Sir Stephen shows her lover out and she does, remaining exposed and vulnerable without being bound but choosing to submit, it is just incredible, beautiful, highly arousing but so much more. In this short scene, so elegantly written, I felt sensation upon sensation. It was so well done that I even remember the tiny detail of the ash of Sir Stephen's cigarette falling on O's breast a few moments later.

I write about submission an awful lot because it's so completely erotic for me. It's more than an orgasm could ever be, it's more than the act of spanking or any other act, it's somehow, simply, complete. Does that make sense at all?

I leave you with this beautiful piece of pure sensuality from The Story of O...

“Keep me rather in this cage, and feed me sparingly, if you dare. Anything that brings me closer to illness and the edge of death makes me more faithful. It is only when you make me suffer that I feel safe and secure. You should never have agreed to be a god for me if you were afraid to assume the duties of a god, and we know that they are not as tender as all that. You have already seen me cry. Now you must learn to relish my tears.”

                                                                                                                       -Pauline Reage

Thursday, July 25, 2013

I Spank My Wife!

My husband and I were having dinner with some friends whom we hadn't seen in a few months last night. We met up on our vacations at a middle point and it's always really great to see them. We were sitting outside at a fairly crowded restaurant and after a couple bottles of wine, we were sort of loud. Our kids are already loud so we just added to the noise! 

Out of nowhere, I mean really nowhere, our friend just out of the blue blurts out that he spanks his wife! Then he starts laughing and she's sort of looking at him and laughing and I'm looking at my husband and he's looking at me and we're laughing that 'oh shit' sort of laugh. 

For a moment - just caught up in it all - I was going to blurt out "we do too and I write spanking romance!" I could just see my face saying it - then pictured my husband's face if I'd said it, then our friends faces…Needles to say, I kept my mouth shut. Didn't want to walk an elephant into the middle of the restaurant, you know? Makes you wonder though how many people are closet spankos, you know? 

Thursday, July 18, 2013

Submission as a Gift

I think bondage is hot, restraints are hot, being made to submit is hot (in fiction or consensually in real life). But there's nothing like taking your punishment. Nothing like bending over without the need to be held down, and offering yourself to him. It warms me just thinking about it.

I've been writing a bit more DD oriented stuff lately. Or at least a form of it where the heroine is punished when the hero decides she's broken a rule or put herself in danger or just disobeyed.

In Taken by the Beast and now in Captive's Desire, the spankings have been more disciplinary in nature rather than erotic. Although for me, it's always erotic but I'm sitting behind my computer screen typing away on my keyboard when the hard spanking is going on so easy to say maybe. 

"Relax your body. Stop fighting, take your punishment and it will be over."
For me, during these scenes I have a theme. It's the "take your punishment without having to be held down, submit to it, to me". And also a favorite line. I can't remember and I hope I edited it out of the current manuscript. I'm not going to tell you what it is- see if you can find it in case it's still there.

Back to the submission piece. Submission is given. It can never be taken. I hope as the stories have progressed, I've been able to show the trust that grows between the characters to the point where the heroine truly submits to the hero, trusting him, giving herself to his keeping and finding bliss there.

I'm not sharing an excerpt today because I was told I'm winding some people up and walking away at a crucial moment. I believe I was called a tease even… today, it's just a pretty picture…enjoy and thanks to everyone for dropping by.
“I hope I don’t need to remind you again that you’ll be absolutely still and take your punishment without a sound except for the count.”

The Drive By Judge

Yesterday I had my first unfriendly comment on a my blog. I've been at this for almost a year so it's not bad, right? It was on an old post (Figging Gabrielle) and I was just absolutely not expecting it and for a moment, didn't know what to do. Actually, that's not true - my first reaction was 'how do I fix this'? As if I had done something wrong. 

The comment - I deleted it but it's still in my edit folders so here it is "Anybody who will let themselves be tortured is nuts and I am nuts for reading this crap.SMH"

First, I had to look up SMH which means Shaking My Head. Then I re-read it and just above that comment was one from Rogue that I'd also missed but that was a nice one so I read the rude one again. And of course, I looked up who it was. Do people know we can see where they are and how long they are spending on our sites by the way? We can…

Anyhow, I got over my 'how do I fix this' fast - which is a HUGE thing for me. For a long time (most of my life), I'd just assume I was the party in the wrong, you know? Doubting myself and all that BS. I'm a whole lot better about that these days. 

I then started to write a reply - and as I believe in energy, both positive and negative. I stopped myself. No need to open a door for confrontation or negativity even if my own reply was a 'Live and let live. Don't judge what you don't understand.' So I let it go and it got me thinking about us, about our little community here. 

I have found some truly wonderful, honest friends who share this kink. And even those I don't know I've learned are kind. I think - even though we are human still - we are less judgmental, less quick to condemn someone or something. I appreciate that community, that safety, that honesty and that intelligence so very much and am grateful to be a part of this group. 

So for all the drive by judges out there - I wish upon you the gift of understanding, of kindness and friendliness. We're all human beings doing the best we can and we all have hearts and feelings and we're all in this together whether we like it or not. In the words of Pema Chodron "Don't let the world harden your heart."